I wouldn’t admit it to anybody (especially myself)…but I’m a bit of a magnet for shit. Not in the literal sense of course…but in the “Oh shit, what have I gotten myself into now” way.
I inexpertly try to circumvent drama, but it will always come back to me in bucket loads.
Case in Point…
Behind Door A we have a gentleman I met in September last year. Suave, slightly arrogant, too confident, well-spoken and very British. Which translates into trouble. Yes, you seeâ€¦like most women I have a sick weakness for men who have the potential to be total arseholes. That and an unfortunate attraction to British Men Don`t ask, I`ve been trying to figure it out myself. Luckily for me (I thought) I had it all under control and being a natural commitment phobe (recent shocking discoveryâ€¦more on that later), I told the gentleman in question that it wasn`t going to work. Simple, huh? Clean, neat â€¦sorted.
Not so. I made the catastrophic mistake of agreeing to be â€˜friends`. Ja. Enough saidâ€¦Suffice to say that although I don`t see him anymore, he is around and making it kinda` tough for me to mosey along comfortably in the terrain of love (or lust).
Behind Door B is a guy who, from the start, was never meant to be a good match. Laid back and with a rigid view on certain issues, we were never supposed to get along. Although, superficially we did. Like a house on fire. But you know what they say about a house on fireâ€¦occasionally it burns down. So here I am, a month and a bit later with, with fingers that are slightly hot. I have discovered that our lifestyles are not a match. He doesn`t think communication is important unless it happens on his terms. I refuse to â€˜settle` for something that will make me unhappy in the long run. I don`t see him for 5 days out of the weekâ€¦which means telephonic contact becomes essential. He doesn`t see the need although HE is the one professing a need to be in a committed relationship with me.
No, I don`t get it either. Which is why the interlude is really not going anywhere, is it?
Which brings me to Door C. A door I haven`t opened yet, but I stand on the precipice so to speak.
â€¦despite the meaningful looks, the ability to have great conversations, the teasing and the banter.
So, maybe I open Door C and â€¦say I just kind of wander in and stand around. I don`t have to sit down. I don`t have to accept a drink and I don`t need to get comfortable. Right?
*sigh* I am an adult. And as much as I believe I`m a magnet for shit and drama, I can practice restraint and so can the gent in question. And maybe this time I will succeed in making a friend and not losing my senses. Because I`m a big girl with a big girl attitudeâ€¦