Life

Chameleon

You know what upsets me most in this world? Chameleons. Not the cute little buggers who have a tendency to look like puke in a tumble dryer when placed on the FPU`s overstuffed and much cherished Biggie Best sofa. No…I`m talking about a different kind of beady eyed, long tongued lizard.

It`s inevitable that you will always find people who seem to change colour whenever they find a new thing or person to emulate. Sad, but true.

I know that we`re essentially all influenced by our environment and far be it from me to imply that I`m immune to this behaviour. Yes, people rub off on me. Events impact on me and I do have a tendency to pick up mannerisms quite unwittingly (I`ve taken to calling people tossers and little sods of late. Blame it on my mate, British). However, you find that some individuals not only pick up slight inflections and mannerisms..they adopt a whole new way of life. A whole new philosophy and belief system in fact.

This is especially true of people who come into new relationships. You find them morphing into someone totally new as a result of their new romantic interest. Where before they were perhaps independent individuals with an opinion on certain issues and an ability to make decisions for themselves (like, you know, a normal adult), they become strange zombie-like creatures with a distinct lack of ability to breathe without the intense consultation and deliberation with their partner or new friend.

Occasionally it becomes so bad that they not only have a personality change, but they have an image make-over as well. Bad boys in FUBU threads and Puma takkies become plaid wearing trendoids overnight.

The most painful part of the whole metamorphises is the strange penchant for co-dependance. Suddenly individuals who previously could have a cup of coffee and a meal on their own in a crowded restaurant cannot bear to be alone. They spend every.single.waking.moment gazing dolefully (and a little obsessively) into each others` eyes. ‘Boys Nights` are suddely a thing of the past (And trust me, I believe that the boys should have time to themselves to be ‘stinky boys`) and lady friends are suddenly pushed aside in favour of spending all your time coochie-cooing with boo.

How absolutely mind-numbingly boring.

When I meet somebody, I am attracted to their individuality. The things that make them unique and their confidence. The idea of having to spend every single moment with another person, answering to him and him alone and expecting the same sad servitude from him, makes me a bit green around the gills. Losing friends as a result of a new romantic interest spells trouble as well. Being unable to move or make up my mind before speaking to Bob makes me cringe.

Look, due consideration for your partner is important but space and freedom to do your own thing and be your own person is what ultimately makes for a happy medium.

It is one thing to try and adapt to others and try to fit in. It is another thing to completely lose yourself in the process. I don’t want another clone. I want to be around someone that challenges me in a healthy way and allows me my freedom to express myself.
And when you`re constantly morphing into someone new to appease the new beau, don`t you get to a point where you`re uncertain of who the real you could possibly be?

It`s a sad sad day when you wake up from a ‘tired` relationship and discover that you`ve lost your identity in the name of love.

Even sadder when you realise that you don`t even like plaids.

25 Comments

  • mm

    hhmmm, seems like a case of the “jimpels”. a combination of jags en simpel. most commonly found under the more personality deficiant members of the community. easily curable with sewe houe ligte lyfstraf met ‘n stomp byl onder die linker oog. long time since i’ve been at the Echoes, who do I blow for a tequila?!?

  • Kitana

    People like that are spineless and gutless and two-faced. Why cant they be proud of who they are? I would never change for anyone. If you dont like me, tough. Not my problem. Right?

    Good Post 😀

  • Jean

    Kit, it’s so rare that people DON’T change for the other person. Almost unheard of. And even sadder…women are most guilty of this crime 🙁

  • mm

    in my humble opinion: adapting to a new relationship is ok, changing is wrong. symantics, yes, an example to explain. imagine, by some stretch of the imagination, that I like drinking and sports. the adapting girl will leave and entertain herself for 8 hours on saturday. the chameleon will stay, ask stupid questions and drink my beer, making us both miserable.gives a whole new meaning to “adapt or die!”;)

  • Jean

    Ja. I’d die as your chameleon…by half time you’ll be half crazy and I’ll be chewing off my wrists. Beer AND Rugby…NASTY! Time is better spent shopping and cocktails with the girls. You’d be amazed how many guys actually DO adapt – to their own detriment. Actually quite fun to see these ‘blokes’ slowly turning into former shells of themselves.

  • Jean

    Yes. You are talking Kak… LOL!!

    Actually…the site is waaaaaay slow. But I’ve been gauranteed that they’re working on the problem

  • Jean

    I could never understand a women’s revenge? The concept of that drink is nasty. I mean…they are implying that the ‘proposed act’ that birthed the idea behind the drink is repulsive and unpleasent.

    Which begs the questions…
    a) Why are you giving oral sex, if it is repulsive and unpleasent?
    b) Does sperm taste like curdled alcohol?

    *just, you know….doing the philosophical meaning of life thing*

  • mm

    a) some people might consider performing filatio even if it doesn’t blow their hair back (pun intended). they can then complain, bitch and moan for hours on end.
    b) *blank stare*

    working hard, hon? philosophical questions are reserved for happy hour…

  • Jean

    MM…*looks at the time* it IS practically happy hour. Isn’t it??

    Besides…that’s a very serious thoughtful question for this time of the afternoon (on a Monday). -> Even Kit agrees it’s highly philosophical. 🙂

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