*Bear with me as I attempt to explain what`s happening in my head at the moment.
Navigating the trenches of a new romantic interest has never been easy for me. Given to too much introspection and caution, I tend to make falling in love more trail and error than bliss. Lately, however, I have not been as â€˜safe` or as cautious as I would traditionally have been. The reason for this is that I have not ever experienced this level of confidence in a guy and assurance in what (and who) he wants. Strangely, it`s simultaneously refreshing and nerve-wracking.
The fact that I do not need to guess about his intentions and his feelings towards me makes for a â€˜comfortable` interaction which helps with the process of getting to know each other. Getting all the confusion and misunderstanding out of the way has it`s benefits. But, enough about thatâ€¦.
All of this made me think of how sexy it is to be confident about yourself and your relationship. Paranoia and insecurity being the most unattractive things a woman can go through I think obviously not all paranoia and insecurity originates out of thin air and mostly it`s about your past baggage (but I â€˜aint no bag lady) or because of a lack of communication between you and your partner.
But what`s the difference between a girl and a woman? Between being sexy and merely just attractive? Well, I think that girls merely know the rules of the game but women know the ropes.
To illuminate that somewhat convoluted statementâ€¦I saw myself through somebody else`s eyes last night and I liked what I saw. Sure, it`s nice to be told you`re pretty or you dress well or you have fabulous shoes (always nice). But your pretty face, your dress sense and amazing taste in shoes can only get you so far in the high stakes of love. Because when it`s all said and done and everything is stripped away, what`s left? I`d always hoped that stripped of my veneer of â€˜style` (whatever that may be) there would be a woman of character, somebody that`s poised and classy but still down-to-earth. An independent woman, who is not afraid to be a girl. That I would be seen as kind and generous. Loyal and honest. And although I wished these things for myself, I didn`t give it a passing thought from day-to-day. It was part of the process of becoming the woman I always wanted to be. Part of the process of becoming Jean.
To look into a potential lover`s eyes and see those qualities mirrored there is a bit of a watershed moment. To hear him say that he finds those qualities in you is â€¦well satisfying and beautiful. Beautiful because I wouldn`t choose to be with someone who didn`t share those same qualities.
So, yeahâ€¦he is intelligent and classy and still incredibly humble. And I see in him all those things he says he sees in me. For once, I won`t deny myself the small pleasure of discovering how deep those qualities go or to discover all those little flaws which makes us human and interesting.
The difference between a sexy woman and an attractive girlâ€¦it`s when you grow up and realise that only you can be kind to yourself. You need to be loyal to yourself. You need to be honest with yourselfâ€¦and you will eventually have confidence in yourself.
Confidenceâ€¦ now that is sexy.
As for the restâ€¦The rest of today has been cancelled due to lack of interest. *kidding* Today I`m out of office. My colleagues and I are off on a road trip down the West Coast and I intend to scoff as many oysters as I can. I will be consuming bubbly. I will not be driving. Please feel free to use the Echoes, put your feet up and have a drink, chill and relax. Shoot the breeze and have a coffee (or stronger) on the Princess. Tomorrow I have some catching up to doâ€¦
Monday`s photoblog (so, you can still submit)
T-Shirt of the Day (I`ve been very naughty I will post the winner this evening).
I have to write Santa with my Christmas Wish listâ€¦ (hee haa)
Mr. Stuyvesant has created a cocktail in my honour. It`s called the Princess Echoes *grin* Tomorrowâ€¦I might just tell you how it`s made. Suffice to say, there`s Tequila