Probability, Cause and Effect


I had an amazing evening…it was more than I expected and everything I wanted. I suspect I’m not merely swept away anymore – apparently now I’m blown away. The most unexpected and unassuming man has come along and totally swept me off my feet. And I can’t stop smiling like a giddy schoolgirl. Strangely, for the first time since I was a teenager, I feel stripped of reservation. I don’t know what this means and I don’t know where it’s leading, but he makes me feel safe enough not to question and not to approach this situation with trepidation.

That, in itself, is scary.

We ordered food that we didn`t eat as we clumsily, and then more confidently, navigated our way around a myriad of firsts. We used the word comfortable so many times last night, that we both lost count. Incredibly, that`s what it was…it was nerves and butterflies and thudding hearts and yet still so incredibly comfortable.

We`re so different, him and I. He is laid-back, gentle and tactful…whereas I am more fiery and bold. But he makes me feel like such a girl how he manages to do that I don`t know. I suspect it`s the quiet confidence he exudes.

And despite these apparent differences, we realised that the fundamentals are the same, the belief system is shared and we laugh at the same crap (a.k.a we share the same sick sense of humour).

You go home still feeling the ebb and flow of the chemistry between you not reckless, but passionate and comfortable and, as you lie in bed smiling to yourself, you think,

damn…Is this how it feels to fall without a safety net

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