Ok…usually I don’t do the joke thing, but this was too good to pass up (hey, a joke about a lobster princess and a lowly crab. Sounds like a match made in aquatic heaven). So enjoy… *credit to Liza for sending me this via e-mail. Mwah!
Douglas the humble Crab and Kate the Lobster Princess were madly,
deeply and passionately in Love. For months they enjoyed an idyllic
relationship until one day Kate scuttled over to Douglas in tears.
“We can’t see each other any more…” she sobbed. “Why?” gasped
Douglas.
“Daddy says that crabs are too common,” she wailed. “He claims you
are a mere crab, and a poor one at that, and crabs are The lowest
class of crustacean and that no daughter of his will marry someone who can
only walk sideways.” Douglas was shattered, and scuttled sidewards away
into the darkness to drink himself into a filthy state of aquatic oblivion.
That night, the great Lobster ball was taking place. Lobsters came
from far and wide, dancing and merry making, but the lobster
Princess refused to join in, choosing instead to sit by her father’s side,
inconsolable…
Suddenly the doors burst open, and Douglas the crab strode in. The
Lobsters all stopped their dancing, the Princess gasped and the
King Lobster rose from his throne. Slowly, painstakingly, Douglas the
crab made his way across the floor…….and all could see that he was
walking, not sideways………… but FORWARDS………Yes FORWARDS,
one claw after another!! Step by step he made his approach towards
the throne, until he looked the King lobster in the eye.
There was a deadly hush…………………………….
For quite a while………………………
Finally, Douglas the crab spoke…………………………………..
…………………………………………………………………..
…………………………………………………………………..
…………………………………………………………….
“F*ck, I’m pissed.”