Life

Douglas the crab

Ok…usually I don’t do the joke thing, but this was too good to pass up (hey, a joke about a lobster princess and a lowly crab. Sounds like a match made in aquatic heaven). So enjoy… *credit to Liza for sending me this via e-mail. Mwah!

Douglas the humble Crab and Kate the Lobster Princess were madly,

deeply and passionately in Love. For months they enjoyed an idyllic

relationship until one day Kate scuttled over to Douglas in tears.

“We can’t see each other any more…” she sobbed. “Why?” gasped

Douglas.

“Daddy says that crabs are too common,” she wailed. “He claims you

are a mere crab, and a poor one at that, and crabs are The lowest

class of crustacean and that no daughter of his will marry someone who can

only walk sideways.” Douglas was shattered, and scuttled sidewards away

into the darkness to drink himself into a filthy state of aquatic oblivion.

That night, the great Lobster ball was taking place. Lobsters came

from far and wide, dancing and merry making, but the lobster

Princess refused to join in, choosing instead to sit by her father’s side,

inconsolable…

Suddenly the doors burst open, and Douglas the crab strode in. The

Lobsters all stopped their dancing, the Princess gasped and the

King Lobster rose from his throne. Slowly, painstakingly, Douglas the

crab made his way across the floor…….and all could see that he was

walking, not sideways………… but FORWARDS………Yes FORWARDS,

one claw after another!! Step by step he made his approach towards

the throne, until he looked the King lobster in the eye.

There was a deadly hush…………………………….

For quite a while………………………

Finally, Douglas the crab spoke…………………………………..

…………………………………………………………………..

…………………………………………………………………..

…………………………………………………………….

“F*ck, I’m pissed.”

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