Romance explained

I`ve just finished reading Wintersmith, the new Terry Pratchett novel. It`s brilliant and funny and in true Terry style I laughed all the way through. If you haven`t read Terry Pratchett…find a copy of his Discworld series and prepare to be entertained. If you do know Terry, buy Wintersmith. It`s the 3rd Tiffany Aching book and features the Feegles, Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg. I finished it in two days! I`m not going to get into it, but Tiffany gets herself into a spot of trouble with the god of winter, the Wintersmith. He falls in love with her, but not being quite human (he is an elemental) he gets it all wrong. The Feegles obviously rush in to help. There is an explanation on the trails and tribulations of dating and romance offered by the Nac Mac Feegles (*blue pixies who has a penchant for boozing and fighting and speaks in a broad Scottish accent)…

What we`ve got here,` Rob Anybody pronounced, ‘is a case o` Romance.`

‘What`s that, Rob?` said a Feegle

‘Aye, is it like how wee babies are made?` said Daft Wullie. ‘Ye told us about that last year. It wuz verrae interestin`, although a bit far-fetched tae my mind

‘Not exactly,` said Rob Anybody. An` it`s kinda hard tae describe. But I reckon yon Wintersmith wants to romance the big wee hag and she disnae ken to do aboot it` (doesn`t know what to do about it)

‘So it is like how babbies are made? said Daft Wullie.

‘No, ‘cos even beasties know that but only people know about romancin`, said Rob. ‘ When a bull coo (cow) meets a lady coo he disnae have tae say, My heart goes bang-bang-bang when I see your wee face, cause it`s kind of built into their heads. People have it more difficult. Romancin is verrae important, ye ken. Basically it`s a way the boy can get close to the girl without her attackin` him and scratchin` his eyes ‘oot

And there you have it folks…romance is about a boy getting a chance to get close to a girl, without risking bodily harm. Sounds easy, huh?

I’m in full day meetings all week. Sitting at the boardroom table with 3G card connecting me to the outside world (small mercies). *sigh*

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