The Anatomy of a pick-up line

Mr. Smooth Operator

For the record: The Princess loves being approached by confident and assertive men, sans pick-up line, but with oodles of wit and candor. Sets the right tone for getting to know said confident and assertive men. Also, I have nothing against younger or shorter men. Men are men. Like ogres and onions, they have layers – all different and unique. However, I have a non-negotiable. Being picked-up in any club is that non-negotiable. I go to dance. Not for the game. Or the hunt.

However, I am too impressed not to share…

Last night in club. The House bass is throbbing, the G&T is cold and the Princess is content (as content as one can be being pushed up against total strangers. What fun…).

Young gentleman casually approaches. Apparently he has now decided that after checking the surrounds for obvious contenders, it should be safe to approach. I appear oblivious to his attention, but I am very aware. He is not as subtle as he would like to think. I stop dancing and lean against the counter top, idly playing with my drink. I`m willing him to come over. He needs to do his thing, I need to kindly turn him down and we can both get on with the evening. He comes to stand next to me…and gives me his undivided attention.

Come here often

Yeah. Often

Are you from around here

No. From the northern suburbs

Oh…ok. Hectic. That`s pretty far

Yes…I packed picnic basket and a passport to come out this way


Never mind…

Ok…you want to go across the street. Maybe get something to eat

*My face must have said it all, because he backtracked.

Um…I`m not a weirdo or anything and you don`t look like the kind of girl to leave a club with a strange guy. Just thought, you know. It`s across the road.`re right. I`m not the type. Besides, it`s nearly past my curfew.

Oh. Ok. ….What? I mean…how old are you. 22?


Charming. No. I have not been 22 for 6 years now

Oh wow…you look really young

*I`m laughing so hard at this point, that my G&T is positively coming through my nose*

Yeah. Whatever. How old are you?

I`m 23. and don`t say I`m too young for you. Age is nothing but a number. Besides, you can`t help that you`re tall. I can`t help that I`m young.

Um…I can help that I`m tall. Because I`m only 5,8…I`m wearing really high heels.

*looks down*

Oh wow. Those are really high. Well, look at it this way…I come with youthful energy, I am willing to be house-trained and I own a stepladder. And I really dig older chicks.

At this point, impressed as I was, I decided that now was a good time to step away from creepy little nightclub urchin leering at me from chest height. I let the music save me…

Everybody now…

*Yeah. I`m bringing Sexy Back

Those other f*ckers don`t know how to act*

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