Oh bloody sweet hell. Please put me out of my misery. I don`t want to anymoreâ€¦please. I beg you, make it stop. Make it stop.
Stop what, Princess?
The inevitable vicious circle we call Dating. *sigh* I can hear everybody going, What the hell`s going on now?. Well, nothing reallyâ€¦except I`m seeing two individuals (surprise) at once. They do know about each other (surprise again but it`s impossible for me not to be honest about it). And they see it as a challenge. I see it as a royal pain in the arse. Look, I had this moment yesterday when I was asking Leo if he thought I`m a commitment-phobe. He said he suspects so. Which goes without saying that as long as I can postpone, stall, delay, kill any eventuality of permanence setting in, I`ll be happy (notwithstanding that in reality it can be a sad lonely exercise as well. I DID say vicious circle, didn`t I). Anyhooâ€¦in the quest to put off having to settle down for as long as possible, I am stuck having to juggle two really incredible guys and having to navigate my way through the tricky terrain of being the perfect date (as I whimper please make it stop)
Look, we know that when it comes to women, men have a type. She should for preference be a pretty, busty, naked,100% woman. How do they know this? They know her when they see her, of course. Because men, you see, are visual creatures.
They want to see. They need to see. They MUST see.
While we`re busying ourselves with a careful selection of seductive lingerie and deep cleavage LBD`s (and it makes us feel all tingly inside because we can`t wait to see his face when he sees us), the guy is enjoying our display of perfection, but he is already two steps (or two hours) ahead of us. In his mind`s eye, the whole ensemble is strewn on the floor – lingerie and all – as he is looking at the amazing, naked, all-woman on top of him, taking in every single frame of this apparition until her long arm reaches for the light switch.
Yes, men are very visual (and despite what they might think) they’re not the only ones. Women are also visual – very visual, in fact – only in a different way.
When it comes to women, instead of being seduced by the nakedness of a guy and every little fantasy that traditionally would go with having a naked man around, we are tempted, titillated, tantalised by him as a character – a persona – in our very own private story.
maybe sharing a kiss or two
We are seduced by the story: the character, the plot, the transformation our hero goes through. In every woman`s story, her hero must display very manly behavior and have the right look – a look easily achievable with some consideration of his exterior appearance and his behavior.
Here he is wearing jeans and t-shirt and his Timberland boots are just that side of slightly scuffed and worn in. Here he is wearing a crisp white shirt and dinner jacket, meeting your friends or family for the first time (yes, he lightly pulls at his pants before he sits). Here he in a board meeting and he`s wearing Fabianiâ€¦but you know he`ll look just as good wearing just his Stetson`s and a pair of spurs. Maybe notâ€¦but you get the point.
You might think looks are immaterial. If that`s all a woman is looking for, then she`s not for me, you might be saying this very second. Women think the same way, you know. If all he wants is big boobs, then he can go date her, we say as we nod at the ubiquitous fake blonde with big breasts at the bar.
Men are so innately visual that they don`t realize just how quickly they judge women based on appearances. She`s a dog! you say as you turn away from a woman. She`s hot! you say and all eyes are on her. You guys rely on short three letter words to determine whether you`ll approach a woman or notâ€¦. *as I dodge the scathing looks from the male fraternity*
The point isâ€¦in this vicious (but envious) position of dating two eligible bachelors and the ensuing whirlwind of suppers, drinks, coffee dates, picnics, movies, etcâ€¦a girl has to keep track of what you`ve worn, how you`ve worn it, where you`ve been and what you said. There`s also a lot of prepping to ensure that you always look good, hot, fresh (because, reallyâ€¦you do get tired). I meanâ€¦I`m not exactly lost in the what to wear department. But the endless routine of bath or shower?, hair?, make-up?, what to wear?, bag?, shoes?, accessories?, perfume? â€¦is getting on my every nerve today.
So, why am I doing this to myself? Because (apparently) I can. Because I`ve been sitting on my arse on the couch for the last two years and it`s time. And I`m an equal opportunity girl. And, for now, all I`m doing is being a smart and hopefully attractive dinner partner, holding hands and maybe sharing a kiss now and then with two really attractive, but very different gentleman let`s call them Camel Man and Lucky Strike. And why the hell not? Until the M word is mentioned (monogamy), I`m not doing anything but the above with anybody.
But the social whirl does take it out of the Princess, you know. I really just want to hide out in on my couch tonight and watch bad TV. And I think I might just do that. And invite the Camel Man to join me.
And perhaps I`ll consider his reaction to me lounging about in my juicy sweats and looking less than fabulous, as a test of sorts.
I knowâ€¦NO FAIR *grin*