If the hills could speak?

The FPU has always been a bit of a contradiction and growing up I could never understand why she just never fit the mould of what, in my mind, a ‘mum` should be. Look, she wasn`t a stay-at-home mom who baked cookies and neither was she kick-arse career mom, who bought cookies. Unpredictable, spontaneous…sometimes mellow and sometimes crazy: She was like the weather. Today I know that I at least 80% of my eclectic nature and personality is owed to her (and my somewhat crazy upbringing *smile*).

I grew up listening to Queen, The Rolling Stones and Tom Jones

FPU, Jeanie, I remember when Tom was here in concert. OH!! He was so sexy…such a hairy manly chest. All the girls wanted to be invited back to his hotel room. Even me!!.

JD, Mom…no. I don`t want to hear this. See this twitch. It`s because I don`t want to hear this

My mom…a Tom Jones groupie in her time. *shudder*

Anyway…amidst the rock ‘n roll tendencies and the spontaneous, c`mon kids we`re going away for the weekend where to mommy? Where the road takes us, kids! attitude, was an old romantic soul. The FPU likes…no loved, nay…. worshipped, the classics. Look, I didn`t watch a lot of tele growing up. We weren`t that kind of family…we read, and played games and went away on trips to pit-sonder-water on a lark. But when we were finally allowed to watch tele, it was when the FPU discovered the joys of a Beta Max Video Machine and with that, the joys of hiring movies. Not for us, the latest and greatest movies. I didn`t see The Godfather till…wait. I`ve never seen The GodFather *collective gasp*. I haven`t seen Dog Day`s Afternoon or Rocky or Saturday Night Fever.

But don`t feel sorry for me…because the FPU saw to it that I grew up watching the greatest cinematic movies ever created. You know what I`m talking about…the classics. When films were still epics and were made according to a certain formula….

Girl meets boy, they fall in love (or sometimes don`t), he goes off to fight in some war / battle / street gang fight, is presumed dead / maimed / missing, he returns and claims her as his bride….Ta Da!!!!

So, to name but a few…at age 8 I could recite monologues from the likes of Some like it Hot, Ben Hur, Gone with the Wind, Casablanca, West Side Story, The King and I, My Fair Lady and ….The Bloody Sound of Bloody Music. My achilles heel. The film that has followed me into my (virtually sane) adult life and now continues to haunt me. *sigh*

Look…don`t get me wrong. Great epic story Check! Cinematic masterpiece Check! Fantastic soundtrack Check! (The sound of MUSIC…go figure). But plausible…and believable to a 7 year-old? Yeah right.

Ladies and Gentleman of the Jury, let`s examine the evidence: A nun, in wartime Austria. Gallivanting around the bloody mountains (not for one second afraid that a bomb will fall on her head will she`s spinning like a damn top on the Alps). A wartime army Captain with …like a GAZILLION kids all of them damn precocious. Young love for the eldest child at sweet sixteen. Middle-age love for her dad….with a NUN!!

I sat there, wide-eyed and fearful, expecting God to smite them for this terrible sin (at 7 years-old I had Catholic guilt. Was I Catholic? No. Did I feel Catholic…of course? We had just finished watching West Side Story and you cannot help but feel very ‘bless me Father, ‘cause I have sinned` when you`re done). But I digress….

The clincher as if the apparent blasphemy wasn`t enough was the ability to trek over the snow-capped, blizzard tormented Alps (with Gazillion kids in tow), being pursued by crazy Nazi`s and what not and survive. I was a bit fatally yours at a very young age and really honestly believed that they should not have survived (especially the annoying 16 year-old and los nun).

Where was I going with this…um…

Oh. Point is. The FPU (in all her grave wisdom) told me that it was in fact the greatest story of perseverance, trust, loyalty and human devotion. A greater metaphor for love than even Romeo and Juliet (which I thought was sucky as well. What? I was 7 and all the other kids got to watch Thundercats *sniff*). Now, 21 years later…I`ve realised that Sound of Music is indeed the perfect metaphor for modern day love. Because now I know better…*smile* and I know it`s as near perfect a love story as you`ll ever get.

It`s a story of two people…from different worlds, different cultures, different backgrounds who, quite impossibly, finds love in the most obscure way. They must face many obstacles (including Nazi`s, extreme weather conditions, the fact that he is initially a total Pratt and their own ideas of what their relationship should be), a posse of kids and a slamming musical soundtrack, before they can realise their love. Oh…and this pesky little problem of being married to God. So, I accept it. I get it, mommy.

Still begs one last final question. If the hills were alive with music…

why didn`t they tell her to shut the hell up!?

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