Of Shoes and Men

Friday evening I was sitting in the non-smoking session of a popular Sandton City bistro. I was waiting for a close friend and in the meantime I was trying to decide between a Cabernet and a Pinotage. In a moment of desperation and exasperation, I ask the waiter if I could taste both the wine menu read longer than War of the Worlds and I was on edge with all the talk of fruity bouquets and noses. However, there was another reason for being on edge. I couldn`t think about wines, much less the effect of regional soils and winds on one little grapevine, because I felt the little granny opposite me giving me a very intent look.

I whipped around to half glare at her (only half because she was a little old granny of the ageing Sandton Kugal variety). She was eyeing me like I was a found treasure.

I`m sorry, she said, I never do this, but are you single?
Um, yes.
Well, I just thought that if you are, my grandson son is too…
Uhm…that`s nice. I just don`t think so…really.
Oh, well…

I turned my chair around to sit with my back firmly facing her and looked up gratefully to see my friend approaching. Saved.

Just an hour beforehand, the woman doing my manicure looked deeply into my eyes, as if she could see right into my soul, and abruptly asked, You are single girl, no?

*sigh* I am, I muttered.
Yes, I can see. No boyfriend?

I should think that`s what single would mean. No boyfriend.

No boyfriend, I said.
You popular girl, you have beautiful eyes, lots of boyfriend.
No, no I don`t have any boyfriends, I promise.
Why no? You need boyfriend. You young.

About a week ago, I`m in a bar and I`m having a conversation with a friend (okay…Leo) and, well… he was discussing the merits of having an interaction with a certain gentleman become more serious because, it`s time Jean, it`s time. Really…it`s been a while now.

Twice in one day, thrice in a week, I`m asked if I`m single. So what is this then, all of a bloody sudden? Well, it`s about if the shoe fits. And when the shoe fits, don`t wear it out.

You see, there`s not a big lack of interest from the male population it`s just that none of them even remotely suited me. It wasn`t the best-fit.

But that`s great. It means they`re interested and it must make you feel good to be wanted, my one friend said.
Yes, and no, I replied, when you have options, but most of them don`t fit or feel right… you feel even worse. You start wondering if you will ever find him. Because you realise that you`re picky and that it will be that much harder for you to find a partner than others. You know that there`s nothing wrong with you you`re just not prepared to settle. And you keep on thinking that if the best-fit exists, where the hell is he and why is he taking so damn long?

I used to think that when I would finally find him, I`d ask him what took him so long. Why I had to date arseholes and psychos and guys who were emotionally anorexic and cheaters and men who couldn`t love. Why it all had to happen the way it did. I wonder if I`ll ask him that. When I find him.

I don`t think I look single, I`m happier than I`ve ever been. I`m enjoying life and I`m enjoying being me. However, it`s odd that all this is happening now, as opposed to a month ago.

I know a lot has happened in the last month and I`ve been smiling more as a result of someone`s interest in me and mine in him. Have I gotten back on the horse? Kind of. I`m seeing how it develops. I`m keeping things open and casual. I don`t want to wake up tomorrow and suddenly have a boyfriend. I want someone who will really get me. Someone who will take my breath away. Someone who will suit me to a tee.

And may be this person does. And maybe he doesn`t.

But nobody is going to turn around and accuse me of Premature Vocalisation

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