Life

Friends

Monday afternoon musing…

Guys, let`s say you are an aspiring Marlboro Man and you’re hanging out one night with your best-est, most special-ist Princess and thinking how fabulous and brilliant she is. And then you run into a guy she knows and she introduces you to to her friend, Camel Man” The next night, you are are hanging out watching “The Notebook” with the Princess, when she make a casual reference that, “my friend Camel Man hated this movie.”

Red flags are waving and your brain is frantically trying to get your attention!! Friend? Mmmmm

As a Marlboro man, you have always been curious. Friend? Can men and women be friends? You’re a dude, so you obviously think it’s impossible to just be friends with a chick you really like. What does “friend” really mean … but you’re not sure you really want to know the answer.

You know what…you’re right, you REALLY don’t want to know the answer.

There’s a slim possibility that “friend” means nothing more than the guy she`s known forever, who will come to her house in the middle of the night when there`s trouble (or spiders), who doesn`t mind enthusiastically farting or burping in front of her, who treats her like a silly little sister and cheerleads her forays into the world of dating. But it’s more likely that “friend” translates into one of these options:

1) The friendship has benefits. You know what I mean…*waggling my eyebrows and leering*
2) It started out as a friendship and progressed quickly to Saturday night booty-calling.
3) She took him home one night and kicked him out at 3 a.m. because he snored.
4) He took her home one night and kicked her out at 8 a.m. when he realised she was still there.
5) He’s her ex-boyfriend of five years who tore out her heart and stomped on it but she’s TOTALLY over it.
6) They met one night and slept together a lot for three months and it was fantastic and then he never called DAMMIT.
7) She was always curious what he was like in bed and he was never interested and now that she’s in a great relationship, he’s been sniffing around. Or visa versa.

The moral of the story: Hold on to your Princess, she’s something special. And remember, she’s choosing to be with you, Marlboro Man. So don’t ask about those friends. Because they’re the past and you’re the present, and if you play your cards right, maybe the future.

And ladies…when he says it`s a friend. It probably is, Ms. Drama Queen.

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