Life

Curiosity Overkill

Mood: Slightly Serious Princess. A friend has just told me that his girlfriend is having an affair. The affair started before they started dating. He is crushed. And I am so mad at her because sometimes, nice guys do finish last.

Herewith….

Women can be susceptible to temporary insanity due to curiosity overkill.

During a (surprisingly) brief episode of curiosity overkill, a woman will ask a man a certain type of question, already expecting a very specific answer and thoroughly convinced that, in the heat of the moment, she`ll get the right and truthful response from her telepathic man.

Furthermore, the man, feeling like the proverbial deer caught in the headlights, senses that if he gives the wrong answer, within seconds he could be relationship road kill. Unless his truthful answer is the answer he thinks the woman wants to hear, he might try to sidestep the question, or possibly even lie.

Recognise any of these classic symptoms of Curiosity Overkill?

Does my ass look big in these jeans?
Do you wish my breasts were bigger?
Am I the best lover you`ve ever had?
How many women have you slept with?
Who`s the most attractive woman you`ve ever been with?
Do you ever think of other women when we`re in bed together?
If you could get away with it, would you sleep with my best friend?
Have you ever loved any other woman as much as you love me?
[Pointing at another woman] Do you think she`s prettier/sexier/hotter than I am?

But here`s the catch: she doesn`t really need or want the honest truth. It`s relationship suicide. And a passion killer of note. The answer could be potentially hurtful and, meanwhile, the guy is sitting there thinking, But who cares… I`m with you. I like you. And your big ass. But…nuh uh…she WANTS the answer that she WANTS. A veritable mindful of anxiety for all involved, huh?

To be fair, men can be susceptible to curiosity overkill, too. In fact, they`re likely to get drawn to Question #4. And although they might not be asking, Does my ass look big questions, they can be dangerously curious about how we perceive the size of Little Johnny.

I must confess. In the past, I`ve asked men some incredibly stupid questions because I thought I could handle the truth. In a relationship I`m not particularly insecure, so I mistook my confidence to be a thick skin. Ja…. suffice to say that if I wasn`t insecure before I asked those questions, I was definitely a bit uneasy after they were answered (I have always aspired to date incredibly honest and blunt men. Go figure).

But the questions I regret most are the important ones I didn`t ask. The kind of question that you NEED a truthful answer to — even if you don`t always want it. Like when a woman in a serious relationship asks a man if he`s having an affair. Without a truthful answer to an important question, you cannot make smart, informed decisions for yourself. If only I had been brave enough to ask THAT question, face the really honest answer and deal with the consequences of his actions I would have felt slightly less misled and foolish. I would have made the decision to leave.

And you`ll probably end up paying later for your lack of curiosity.

Of late, I`ve become a very smart girl. I mean, really…When you have those butterflies in your stomach, and the endorphins are crashing around your system and hormones are raging…it`s not like you`re going to stop and have a little chat. I reckon that there`s a conversation you need to have BEFORE sleeping with him especially if you want the interaction to last longer than 8am tomorrow morning….

Stuff like…Are you married?, Are you sleeping with other people?, Are you already involved with someone else?, Do you use condoms?, Do you use any drugs?, Do you have an STD?, Have you been tested for HIV/AIDS?….

I know, I know…talk about a mood killer, you grumble. Besides, you`re probably thinking that your man or woman because it`s important for men to ask these questions too. Women can be EVIL, guys is special. I would be dating the kind of man / woman who would voluntarily give me that kind of bad news before we ‘consumate` our arrangement rather than be seriously blindsided later?

*snort* Funny girl. Wake up…other people want to get laid, you know. And they`re not always picky about the when`s and how`s.

Sometimes, of course, a woman doesn`t ask a man the important questions because she doesn`t want to have to answer them herself.

*sigh* What a wicked web we weave. I want to ask the important questions first. With all that crap out of the way, I can have fun. Fun without fear of anything coming back to haunt me on the other side of multiple orgasms.

In a manner of speaking, of course.

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