Can You Do Me Now

or, the booty call redefined.

It`s woman`s day and I`m at work. Had loads to do and the peace and quiet in our hallowed halls during a public holiday was just what I needed (yeah, I know I could take the laptop home and do it there. Right. I never said I was disciplined). I`m on my way out, so just a quick post on…well…frankly, it`s about how some people have to learn to put their mobiles off during sex.

We went out for drinks at M-Bar last night but we called it a night fairly early. I got home at about 11:30pm and discovered a frantic text message from a friend sent about 30 minutes earlier. Well, far be it from me to call people back at 11:30pm in the evening, but she did say, Call me at ANY time. It`s urgent.

So I did. Big mistake. I shaved years off my life…

Look, it`s like this…even on a day when three different drivers, all clutching cell phones to their ears, came within split-seconds or mere inches of crashing into my car, I am still shocked and mortified (even as I am not surprised) to discover that apparently only one in seven people turn off their cell phones during sex according to a US Study (admittedly most Americans are freaks or are delusional). The study did not reveal what percentages of people have actually answered their cell phones during sex. That I assume is a separate study called How Stupid are They?.

Of course, most cell-phone calls are quite disjointed and haphazard as a form of conversation and if the calls I`ve overheard are any indication, the sex ones would sound something like this…

Hello?…Oh, hey, what’s up?…No…Yeah…Uh huh…What?…I’m in bed…Yeah…I’m having sex with John…Yeah, it’s been pretty good, but I don’t think he’s gonna last much longer…Right…I should be done here pretty soon…Oh, hey, hold on, I got another call coming in…Hello?…Oh, hey…Listen, I can’t talk right now. I’m on the other line with Sue, and I’m having sex with John, and I think he’s about to have an orgasm, so…Great. I’ll call you later…Okay, bye…Hey? Still there?…Great…Yeah, that was Steve. He says “hi”…Yep…Oh, hey, John’s really speeding up here, so…Yeah…Exactly…Gotta run…Okay…Sure…Bye…

Instead, last night`s call went something like this…

*heavy breathing*….huh? um…who`s this?…who? *oooooh*….Oh. Jean…hey, crap time to call…we`re shagging…now go get a life….



Which leads me to my thoughts on tomorrow`s post: Passion Killers (not to be confused with a divine cocktail at the M-Bar called a Lady Killer. Yummy)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *