Life

Nice girls finish last

And occasionally we`re ok with that because we end dead last in the corporate race, but our integrity is still in tact. You see, I`ve come to the conclusion that it is just physically impossible for some women to be happy when someone of their gender succeeds. Moreover this is the type of woman who will go to the strangest lengths to be at the top of their corporate ladder or social group.
Which begs the question…why is it not possible for women to be a positive and motivating force in each other`s lives. Why do some women feel the need to strap on brass balls as soon as they enter their workplace? Hell, the million-rand…(exchange rate?) …No, make that the million-dollar question is why is it impossible for some of my female colleagues to comprehend a situation where they are nice, efficient, proffessional AND feminine. Hell on Heels…Should I be scorned for being so hard on my own gender?

No, I am a woman and I know exactly what comes with that package…. I call it female schizophrenia. For some reason, we are consumed by the need to be all things to all people. For some inexplicable reason we MUST be the BEST wife, mother, manager, resident cow. When it is so easy just to be the BEST person. A great colleague. A supportive friend. A motivating manager….gettit?

Now, I`ll be one of the first to admit that I am ambitious, have been known to get extremely furstrated when I find myself in jobs that lean to the mundane and at 28 find myself at a very satisfying point in my career. I anticipated being here at age 33 (yes, I do the 5 and 10 year plan thing). But, when I look back on my short but prolific career, I have come to the conclusion that it will always be easier to work with men than women. Of course there are a few exceptions, but more often than I would like, Hell on Heels are running wild in the workplace.

These women come in all shapes, sizes and guises; however, they still end up Hell on Heels in the end. I think I`ve come across them all—the seemingly sweet type who silently seethes with envy deep inside. She will manipulate her way to portray all others as the hangnail on the toe of life, for this is as she views most other female competition. The office gossip: friendly to all but spitefully vicious with her account of everyone elses` business. The domineering middle-aged frau trapped in an outdated and itchy polyester suit. She treats the office like her house and orders everyone around ….she probably thinks that by doing this she can live out her unfulfilled dream of being a lady who lunches (i.e. a woman who marries rich and now just lunches with her friends on a daily basis). She does this by treating the personal assitants as if they were her private slaves. Last but surely not least, (and my personal favourite), the classic and ever-present suck-up.

To these women, everything is personal and they never mean what they say. You don`t have to do much to experience the Heel being successful, nice, feminine, acting with integrity and treating people with respect are all catylists to unleash her resentment and ultimate orchestration of your demise you pithy little nothing. Once you`ve crossed her, no truce can ever be struck because what has transpired (afore-mentioned success, polite behaviour and good grooming) was all planned to orchestrate their downfall and not by any means a result of their own shortcomings.

That`s Hell on Heels for you. They`re not rationale…but they`re certainly brilliant in their scheming and shameless in the pontificating of their own wonderful attributes.

Funny thing is, women always claim to be more mature than the opposite sex. It`s always been said that boys will always be boys and what changes are the price of their toys. However, in the case of women, the backstabbing, the rumor-mongering and the competition are telltale signs… telltale signs that we have never quite grown up. We are still on the playground, resenting the girl with the nice hair, cute boyfriend; pink roller-skates (don`t ask). In the workplace, we`ve just transferred that playground mentality to that of a it`s all about one-up-manship and the I`ll-be-damned-if-you`re-going-to-get-ahead-of-me mentality.

While it is true that I am competitive, I prefer to view my trait as ambition motivated by the desire to achieve something honestly. I work with a team of mostly women. And, it`s a pleasure. And with the exception of one or two, we assist, support and motivate each other. We recognise each other as business professionals, specialists in our field, wives, mothers, singletons (me…who else?) and friends. We take time to honestly enquire about the things that make us great women and we realise that what makes us great women are the things that transpire beyond the boardroom wars and the corporate politics. It`s what grounds us…being sincerely nice to people who deserve it and doing what we can to make our immediate environment a postive one.

And so I proudly say that the difference between me and the Hell on Heels is that I am not stricken with their schizophrenic disease. I`m not afraid to be successful at what I do and yet to be a lady at all times. I will not pretend to be nice to you when I know you don`t deserve it, as I don`t want to weave stupidity out of gullibility. I always try to motivate and support those who need it and develop the ones who want to grow.

On a final note: In this world full of women who don`t know who they are and sacrifice their personlaties to achieve their goals, let me say this…

Karma…she is a bitch. The biggest one of all. And she`s a very very patient lady. Do unto others, as others would do unto you…what goes around, comes around…blah blah

Gettit? Gottit? Good.

*the writer of this blog realises that the tone of this post is decidedly bitchy. that was the intention. live with it and if the heel fits…wear it*

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