Life

L is for Loser

So, last night I was sitting in Ingrid`s lounge, just about ready to climb into the tele and deal merry hell with those damn Italian`s (please, I`m understating…I`m still in mourning), when Zizou physically did what all French supporters were thinking at the time. Head butt the asswipe! However, the utter shock when our thoughts became his reality spelled the end to an amazing career and a terrible send-off for the French Captain.

Of course the red card was deserved. Why do you want to end your (fantastic) footie career with this skirmish forever on your record? Why not do what any normal person would do…wait for him in the car park after the game? And it IS awfully bad sportsmanship to get physical with a player in front of millions of fans…you can now never deny that it happened. Besides a dark corner would have been SO much more convenient.

However my dirty little secret is that, I get you Zindane. I understand what made you tick The incredibly sad thing is that I can absolutely identify with his feeling of frustration and anger in that moment. You see, I am competitive. terrifyingly so. I must win. Even when I`m wrong, I`m right. And if I`m not winning, I don`t want to play anymore. It`s terrible…but it`s true. I hate losing and I will never be a good sport about it. I`ll smile and shake your hand, but I wouldn`t advise you to go to sleep in my presence or wander into any dark corners.

For all intents and purposes, the FPU (Female Parental Unit) kept me away from any team-sports. It`s not that she didn`t try or that she didn`t think that team-sports were important for my development. It`s just that she couldn`t cope. I couldn`t and wouldn`t be associated with a team that didn`t win so much so that I would walk off in the middle of a losing match (pre-school ‘tag` does get very intense). The kids on my team complained about my bullying and scaring tactics. I couldn`t stand the gloating off the other (winning) team. I loved the sound of my gloating though. So, I eventually got pulled off team sports and sent off to singular pursuits like chess and swimming – no relay please.

Through the years growing up and growing smart have calmed down my bad-tempered, bad sportsmanship behaviour vastly.

However… nowhere on the face of the earth is there a group of friends who are more competitive than mine. In a group of about 10 people, about 6 are total control-freaks. We are as competitive as hell and get particularly nasty with each other when we play games which we do often. Every single thing is done with a highly competitive streak and we`ve been known to have full-out arguments based on who was right and who was wrong. The only difference between us in a game of 30 seconds and the world cup final is that there is no gorgeous salt and pepper haired Italian to referee us. To be fair…we understand and recognise this personality trait in each other and never hold a grudge. Well, not really. At least not for very long. *g*

And, yes, as highly competitive as I am I DO make terrible mistakes. The kind of mistakes my friends will not let me forget…mostly because of my extreme nastiness when I`m in the heat of battle. The funny thing is…at work I`m ambitious without being overtly competitive and although I haven`t become less controlling in my private space, I have to stop and have a good laugh at myself now and then.

But occasionally…I DO still strongly feel the urge to turn around and head butt somebody.

Oh…and not that it means anything, but I’m Aries.

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