Things that go bump in the night

Today is not only blue Monday, it’s a horrible shade of deep purple blue…the 20 000 South African Kilometres under the Sea kinda’ blue.

I was mugged on Saturday – and as much as I’d like to say it was dramatic…it was not. He came, he saw, he grabbed, he ran (Latin translation please?). I thought about doing the Charlie`s Angels thing and running after him and kicking is arse from here to Sunday, but on looking around me, could not see man, mouse or security to help me apprehend the miscreant. The kind gentleman managed to relieve me of all forms of identification; all bank cards, all other cards, phone, etc. Today I am a nobody. I have no identification…I am the only person (apparently) who knows who I am. The wonderful (read ancient) South African banking system says that without any form of identification they cannot unsuspended accounts and re-issue cards. The Department of Hopeless Affairs says that without any form of identification they cannot identify me (um…yes?) and that without any form of identification they cannot re-issue my ID, Passport, etc.

I am currently driving with a sworn declaration from a nice policewoman, verifying my lack of Drivers Licence as a result of an unfortunate incident in the Parking Garage of Cape Gate shopping centre. Lovely…I can see it now, Sorry, Mr. Occifer…I am who I am and the pohleese says so. *sigh*

Which brings me to my next and final point. I am a snob, albeit a very very angry one (please do not be fooled by the very rational train of thought). Why do I not like Cape Gate? Or Sanlam Centre?

Well, here`s why…when I was relinquished of my handbag in Parking level 1 of Cape Gate centre, I had the fortune of spending a lovely eye-opening 3 hours in the security control centre of the afore-mentioned shopping establishment. I was regaled and entertained to no end by the tales of misery and woe of the local security staff. We are under-paid, we do not get any breaks, we do not…we do not. Not like our colleagues servicing Willowbridge, Cavendish, Tygervalley (you get the idea). When I asked why?, I was emphatically told that low-end clientele = low-end security.

So, the value of the security is directly linked to the type of client.

So, I am de-valued as a client as long as a shop at Cape Gate centre. If that is the case, I will forsake my recent forays into Cape Gate for the sake of proximity and convenience and once again trek to Willowbridge or Tygervalley where the chances of being mugged or maimed is still possible, but apparently less likely.

Makes you think, doesn`t it?

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