The Pig is Dead – Long Live the Pig

indulge me. I’m having a quirky day*

I have a huge pink pig in my office at work (my alter-ego, if you will) as a result of this thing at work called the Order of the Pig (Die Orde van die Vark).

At the first Sanlam Winter School for financial reporting, Kaptein (The boss, Frans) was presented with a paper-mache pig made by all the journalists attending the winter school. He brought it back where it spent a few lonely years up on a shelf, ‘till the fateful afternoon it was hauled off it`s lofty perch and handed over to a colleague for putting his foot in it. Basically, when you make a major FA-CUP you get the pig.

Problem was that when I got the pig (still can`t fathom WHY I got the pig :-p), I became way too attached to it. I gave it the name Deloras and gave it pride of place on my desk. Soon after I was presented with my own Deloras and some may say she`s my dark half.

The Hamstar Weekly

Deloras A. Pig interviewed Jean Dennis for the forthcoming issue of The HAMstar Weekly.

D: So, you`ve have had a bad day… What happened?

JD: Let`s just say that nothing is going according to plan at the moment and the situation at work is getting out of control. I am frustrated by the lack of control I have over a certain issue, which impacts directly on me. Unfortunately I let it get to me and I became angry. I`ve been a very bad girl.

D: How are you going to fix it?

JD: I`m not. Not right now, anyway. It doesn`t help to get involved when you`re emotional about an issue. When you`re emotional, you can`t be on top of your game.

D: Tell me about the weekend?

JD: Um…I aim to have a good weekend. Going to George and Oudtshoorn tonight on business, but will make time to meet up with some old friends while I`m there. I return tomorrow evening and I`ll probably meet up with some mates. Plan to veg all weekend. DVD`s, cooking, wine …it`s all on the cards.

D: Do you mind if I ask you some inane questions?

JD: No, shoot. As long as it`s not too personal…

D: Ok. I`ll try to keep it light…

D: Are you a morning person?

JD: No. I`m a leave-me-alone-before-10am person.

D: lol…so, what time did you get up in the morning?

JD: About 06:45. I have 2 fur balls who will NOT let me sleep.

D. What, in your opinion, is the best movie of the year?

JD: Um..yeah. Brokeback Mountain and Memoirs of a Geisha did not disappoint. Everything else I`ve been really excited about was disappointing. X3 was good…but not great.

D: Breakfast or Supper?

JD: Breakfast AND Supper. I battle to do the breakfast thing properly because I`m not a morning person. I`ve been told that if I make an effort to eat brekkies everyday, I might develop a personality before 10am.

D. What is your favourite dish?

JD: I love good ole Karoo Lamb chops…and lately I`ve has a craving for pasta with pesto sauce.

D: So, do you have a favourite sandwich?

JD: Pastrami and mustard on a toasted bagel …

D: No bacon then? That`s very considerate of you. What food do you dislike?

JD: Sjoe…”afval” -that’s tripe and trotters for the uninitiated – and liver (unless peri-peri chicken livers, which basically disguises the taste of the livers) Can we move off the topic of food now… can`t be that interesting.

D: You love fashion. What`s your favourite item of clothing?

JD: Undoubtedly, all my shoes. I love how I feel in them.

D: What was your most memorable birthday?

JD: All my birthdays are memorable. I’m a “birthday” kinda’ person. It’s always an occasion. But the one that stands out is the Pink Panther themed one in 2004. Awesome! I made a wicked cocktail that I served in jam jars.

D: Where do you stand on the issue of kids?

JD: Uh…I don`t stand at all? Parenting happens to other people…

D: Any last thoughts on your aspirations for 2006?

JD: Um…it`s almost 2007. I suppose I aspire to eat breakfast every morning. Eggs, toast, BACON….

D: That`s just in bad taste excuse the pun. Any travelling plans?

JD: Asia in August with Leo and Donny, possibly India with Ingrid in December. Can`t wait. I`m a total travel bug.

D: Final Question: How do you feel about the whole blogging phenomenon.

JD: Mmm…I don`t blog. I think it`s fad. After all, who would want to share their private thoughts in an online journal, which can be viewed by total strangers and potential sociopaths. Not me.

Excerpt from Issue 259 of the HAMstar Weekly. Copyright enforced. Author, Deloras A. Pig

THURSDAY June 08 2006 01:00 PM

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