Dances with Wolves

Little Red Riding Hood: When a girl meets a guy and he`s the Big Bad Wolf

I had a little writer`s block earlier. Mostly because I`m sitting in a meeting and the pressure of taking note and participating in what is being said is seriously messing with my writing mojo. I`m going to cheat and I`m re-posting something I wrote on 03 April 2006 (on my previous blog), in response to a challenge from Leo. Asked to help me out with a suitable title, Big L suggested I write about Little Red Riding Hood. Never one to back down from a challenge, albeit strange, I tried to rise to the occasion…

Little Red Riding Hood: A metaphor for dating

Featuring Cast
Little Red Riding Hood (Bridget Jones, a.k.a Me)
The Big Bad Wolf (Bad Boy, Daniel Cleaver)
The Woodcutter (Dependable Mark Darcy)

So Bridget’s got her Darcy but she’s still wobbling back in the direction of Cleaver. Why?, we all chorus. She’ll only get her fingers (and other extremities) burned again! Doesn’t she know it’s her duty to women everywhere to know a good thing when she’s got him?

Sitting at home last night watching Bridget Jones` Diary: Edge of Reason, I wondered about women`s predilection to men that are just really bad for them. You know what I`m talking about…A Woman`s (often fatal) attraction to Bad Boys. It really doesn`t matter how often we burn our fingers we WILL come back for more … I suspect that in my case it`s about the fact that I get a cheap thrill out of the whole interaction and that I like the idea of playing with fire and vamping now and then to play the Bad Girl.

The real question, of course, is why would someone like me fall for an obvious Bad Boy when I am a fairly clued up, independent urban chick? There’s no mystery to it, we all know Daniel Cleaver and his breed are bad news. If they were good for us we wouldn’t call them Bad Boys, would we?

We crave their badness, that’s the thing. It gets the juices flowing. Bad boys are our water cooler men: we enjoy dissecting them with the girls the morning after as much as we enjoyed being charmed into bed with them the night before.

The predator…

People often refer to the bad boy as wolfish or foxy, which are just fun ways of saying he’s a predator. Of course you know you shouldn’t go there but you’re driven by the excitement, the cachet of being with someone extremely handsome and charming and, let’s face it, the fantasy that you can take up the challenge and tame him.

Bad boys make us feel sexy instantly: the gorgeous siren we’ve always wanted to be and that the good guys don’t always convince us we can pull off…because, well…Nice guys say things like…You`re so cute or You look really nice in that dress. A wolf will look you up and down, grab you and in no uncertain terms show you exactly how hot you are and how sexy he finds you in those killer heels and dress. Enough said…it`s the stuff that fantasies are made of.

He’s not in love with you

The real bad luck is to fall in love with a bad boy. Do that and what should be a sweet pick-me-up, becomes a lengthy bout of food poisoning. He is not in love with you. If he says he is, it’s to get you to do something you’re not sure about doing (possibly still illegal in some European countries). On the plus side, if you do fall hard for a bad boy, you’re unlikely to do it more than once (OK, twice), which is why any woman in her twenties almost certainly had an affair with her a biker/rocker/tattoo artist when she was nineteen – it’s called learning your lesson.

So how do you know if you’re addicted to the silver-tongued charmer in the tux or if, like Bridget, you’re ready for the good guy in the bad sweater who likes you just the way you are? The simple answer is this… If you give it just as good as you`re getting it, you`ll be able to handle a Bad Boy. Nerves of steel and a particularly thick skin are required for this exercise. But if you`re dreaming of a white picket fence and 2.5 kids, back off sweetheart – He`ll eat you up (and, you know what Big Teeth he has).

Sheep in Wolf`s clothing

While some of us have to sheepishly admitting that a capricious man is often sexier than a considerate one, some of the lads in my life have had the same problem with women. One friend made it clear that it isn’t just women who fall for the villain of the piece, ‘I can’t pretend that I haven’t been attracted to women who’ve treated me badly in the past – there’s no right or wrong – it’s just a question of taste.’

Perhaps it’s the effort of constantly having to seduce your lover away from other attractions that make these liaisons appear more passionate. As another poster said, ‘After all, we all like a challenge, eh?’ Some people are simply addicted to this kind of relationship – the allure of the unattainable sustaining them through years of bad treatment. While pondering the appeal of these bastards I realise that in some cases it`s the challenge of hopefully being able to tame them and ‘train’ them to the way they want’.

Not for one second do I pity Little Red Riding Ho(od). Honestly…If you`re going to go walkies all ALONE in the forest, with tempting goodies in your bag and wearing a hot little RED number – don`t expect to be left alone by sick perverts and emotional time-wasters like Big Boy Wolf. My goodness, Red! You`re basically begging for it. Do yourself a favour…Forget grandma, and your thrill for the wild side. Take your basket, and a blanket, find that stable, but strapping and sexy woodcutter and seduce him. Or be seduced. Either way…He can`t be that tame when he`s swinging an axe for a living.

After all, there`s a little Wolf in every Boy.

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