Sex and Sensability: Dating Mr. Darcy

I`m smart. And smart girls still believe in love and chivalry.

And if my foundation is love and chivalry, it`s really not that hard to comprehend that I would want to meet and ultimately love and be loved by someone who believes in the same thing (Take note: Nowhere do I say the words Marriage and children as a natural conclusion. Partnership is the ultimate goal. I`m not convinced that marriage isn`t a bit overrated.)

I am a huge fan of Jane Austin`s Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility. The heroines are strong, emotionally independent and feisty women. The men are gallant, chivalrous and principled. My favourite of these characters is Mr. Darcy (to the extent that my dog is named after him…). He is really the perfect gentleman not a metrosexual or a cowboy. Just a man. Often misunderstood, but still capable of sweeping the intimidating and independent Elizabeth Bennet off her feet.

To put it into perspective: Who is a Mr. Darcy in 2006?

He is comfortable in his own skin and is past dealing with issues and drama`s best left to people who have nothing better to do with their time, than live life like it`s a soap opera. He is not required to be particularly wealthy but he is comfortable in his wealth and knows how to manage his own finances. I will not depend on him financially I wouldn`t want him to ever depend on mine. He is ambitious enough to want to be at the top of his game but he will still believe in a balanced work and social ethic. He is a professional, and will understand the constraints placed on you in business.

It`s the man who is comfortable with his sexuality and realises that the ebb and flow of a woman`s sexuality is closely linked to her mind. He has his own place and space and knows how to be alone. He loves traveling and is spontaneous enough to pick up and go when the urge arises. He loves watching cartoons in bed…and can quietly lie next to you reading a book.

Conversation isn`t always necessary. He does, however, not mind going out for a jol now and then and he is not socially inept in other words, I would not need to hold his hand when we are out socially. Like me, he will believe that co-dependant relationships are dangerous and will embrace the idea of each person retaining their identity and individuality in the relationship. He won`t mind sharing my passions and hobbies now and then. I won`t mind sharing his. He is a thinker and would be able to stimulate me mentally without being an intellectual snob.

He is not particularly attractive or unattractive, but he does take care of his appearance and grooming is not a town in England. He has to be spiritual – and that does not mean he has to be religious. He will accept me for who I am and I will endeavour to stay the same chick as time goes by if he can return the favour. I value his freedom and space and he allows me the same thing. I have a voice and an opinion and, to him, these opinions are actually worth a damn.

Ultimately, I want a man who is not intimidated by Jean. And isn`t a drama queen. Who knows that I will respect him if he is able to deal with situations calmly, as they happen. Who is honest, monogamous and principled.

In short, a Mr. Darcy…

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