Life

Running Scared

There is an anomaly out there called THE WOMAN WHO IS RUNNING SCARED.

Scared of what?, you ask?

Well, basically commitment if it means marriage and having to settle down into domesticity. And yes…this is an anomaly. Don`t get me wrong – I believe in commitment and monogamy and I fully intend to settle down one day, but that does not mean marriage in any way or form (oh hell no!).

Traditionally (from about the age of four) women dreamt of having the white-picket fence, American Dad type husband and 2.5 kids (roughly about the time we realise that little Billy from next door doesn`t have the same equipment as ours…and, yeah, he does look pretty hot when he plays in the sand with his red plastic shovel). However, there`s a new breed of woman not the traditional marriage and kiddie-chaos type, nor the 90`s ballsy feminist type who klaps a guy for trying to open the car door for her.

No, it`s the new-age woman who is independent, fearless but feminine. We CAN do everything you guys do (if you wanted us to, we`d do a better job running the country), but we CHOOSE to embrace the fact that we`re women a.k.a…we love doing our girlie shit.So, back to the whole Running Scared thing. I have been accused of saying that I don`t want to get married because I`m 28 and not in any way or form involved with anyone (kind of like a fail-safe for spinsterhood. If I don`t meet Mr. Right, it`s looks ok because I said I wouldn`t get married. If I do meet Mr. Right I have the fullest right to renegade on what I said – because I`m a woman and I MUST want to get married. Yawn….).

Anyway, this is my official take on Running Scared:I believe in partnership and companionship.

The fundamentals of any commitment should be those two things (factor in honesty, respect and compatibility). The point I actually want to make is that it is virtually impossible to find a person of the male persuasion who is genuinely comfortable with the woman who is “running scared”. It’s an anomaly to them and they usually react in one of two ways.

It’s either deep distrust of the situation (I mean, a chick who doesn’t want commitment?? …Never!) or an attempt to abuse the situation (yeah! A chick who doesn’t want commitment. Lots of shagging without the emotional crap that goes with it. yeah!).So…now, more than ever before, it’s becoming harder to find a normal, well-rounded and intelligent guy. Someone who’s comfortable in his own skin, doesn’t look to me for happiness and is content to just “be”.

You’d think it was easy, right? You live your own lives, there are no big demands and you give each other LOADS of space to be an individual. Wrong.It’s a veritable battle field out there and you must be skilled in the “Art of War” in order for him to understand that your reluctance to commit (to marriage that is) is not a ploy to get him interested in the first place – neither is it a cold and callous attitude which will leave him feeling decidedly “unwanted” and “unspecial”.

Simply put…it’s like walking a very high balancing beam. Much to my chagrin, my mother, sisters and some of my girlfriends support my “running scared” attitude. Sadly…Mr. Right Now has a wee spot of trouble understanding this rare phenomenon.

Which means I`m stuck between a rock and a hard place.

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