Dirty Pretty Things

Why are some women bitchy?

Don`t get me wrong. I think that most women have a capacity to be incredibly caustic given half the chance. But I`m referring to that special breed of women who can turn other people`s lives into a living hell. In the past few weeks I have experienced first hand the scathing after-effects of being around bitchy women.

Being around them reminds me of a scene out of Bridget Jones` Diary: Edge of Reason, where she (Bridget) refers to a certain ‘lady as a jellyfish. Apparently being around this woman as akin to being stung by a jellyfish over and over again. And that`s exactly it. They don`t stop. So last night while I was cooking (a.k.a heating Woolies Lamb Korma, glass of red in hand), I was wondering how some women can go to such great lengths to say catty, mean things which ultimately hurt the other person(s) and messes with their reputation. And take note, I`m not calling anybody a bitch purely because I detest the term.

But I do call their behaviour bitchy. They are genuinely mean people; and often these women are bitchiest to other women, but tend to play up to men, because on some level they equate this with power. Their inability to empathise with others or consider the broad social complexities of power and self-advancement strikes me as a kind of blindness (although, it doesn`t make me feel sorry for them in the least).

This kind of cattiness is usually born out of jealousy and envy, which in many cases leads to insecurity = belittling others for your own advancement. The really sad thing is that women have an inability to support and be happy for each other. How many times have you seen it…when a woman walks into the room, all the other females will turn to do the old up and down. Or, when a woman has a certain amount of clout in business, she is automatically perceived to be a bitch by her female colleagues. Of course, I am not a saint and the limitations of my patience can only stretch so far.

So, if you`ve been bitchy to me (or, heaven forbid, my friends or family) for ANY reason, I will factor you out of my immediate frame of reference. Why? There is absolutely no reason to be unkind, to spread rumours or sow dissent. No reason and no excuses. I don`t believe in horoscopes. But I do somehow think that your time of birth does in some ways reflect your personality. Apparently as an Aries I am not shy of confrontation (mmm…also says I have a quick temper…psssh. What do they know? I call it passion and energy. I should have been Italian). However, I don`t like sparking confrontation and any kind of loud verbal or physical confrontation puts me off (it`s just SO un-ladylike).

So why the rant then… I have decided that I don`t have to deal with rude and unkind women. I am very supportive of most women, but when they choose (because it`s a choice) to disregard the individuals around them, I write them out of my life story. I find that 80% of my close friends are men. Bless them…usually what you see is what you get. No complications or drama. They know how to have fun. If they don`t like what you`re wearing or how your hair is styled, they`ll say so very untactfully but it`s never mean-spirited. It`s just…well…hanging out with the boys.

I think I`m done dealing with Bag Ladies, Drama Queens and Catty Women. After all…life`s too short for their drama. ** Incidentally, the far side of hanging with the boys is that you`re sometimes a girl and sometimes you`re a guy. So, it gets a bit schizo after a while. You complain that you want to be treated like one of the dudes and you the farting…but you really don`t mind still expect them to carry your shoes around the pub (don`t ask) or pick a fight with a guy for grabbing your arse.

Yep, it`s fun being a chick…

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